10 Things that Help with Jealousy and Insecurity

This goes along with my last post. Not necessarily in any order, here are 10 things you need to acknowledge and do to let go of jealousy and forget about fomo.

  1. Substitute your envy for happiness. When you start to feel jealousy rise up in your mind immediately tell yourself to be happy for the person and not jealous of them. Buy a journal that you can write in once a day or once a week and list things you are grateful for.
  2. Understand that jealousy often comes from disappointment, and that disappointment comes from our desire to be satisfied by earthly things. The Bible teaches us that there is a place in our hearts that only God can fill. And after trying so hard to fill that hole with earthly things, only to find that it cannot be done, we are disappointed and become jealous of the fulfillment we see in others.
  3. Process your emotions instead of pushing them aside. Journaling, dancing, singing, taking a walk or going on a run all can help.
  4. Don’t get too attached. It’s good to have people who you can count on but it can be unhealthy to become stuck to their side. When you become too attached you are going to always be thinking about the theoretical possibility that that person could leave or be ripped from you.
  5. Sleep it off. If you’re like me, jealousy can arise in seconds. I can go from being happy with myself to feeling like I want to vomit within an instant. I immediately want to either ignore everyone or say something nasty or rude that I will regret. So instead of doing anything rash, get off your phone for a few hours. Go to the beach, take your dog to the park, go out with some other friends, play a computer game, spend some time with your family. Or if it’s night, tell whoever it is that you’re going to bed early and get a good nights rest. Put on some music (I put on rain sounds) or light a candle and try to think of only sleep and how great it will be to wake up refreshed! Even if you are still jealous the next day, I promise you won’t feel the bitter and false guilt of not being good enough as strong as you did before.
  6. Realize the person you are with now is not the same person who may have hurt you before. Personally, I get jealous because I am insecure and because I have been hurt before. I have to remember not all people are like the ones who hurt me, and I need to give them the benefit of the doubt before I go assuming things. If it comes to a romantic relationship, realize that there is a reason your partner decided to be with you in the first place, so if they are doing something that makes you jealous remember they made a CHOICE to be with you and not with whoever or whatever you are jealous of.
  7. Know your triggers. Is it snapchat stories that get to you? If you unfriend people on snapchat, you can still snap then while not being able to see their stories. Is it Instagram pictures? click unfollow. Is it text messages? turn your notifications off and make an effort to only look once a day. Whatever it is that sets you off, find a way to limit that interaction or get rid of it all together.
  8. Find someone COMPLETELY outside of the situation to talk to. For me, it’s talking to a friend who lives in a different country. If you try and talk to someone who knows or is involved in the whole situation, it’s likely that they will be biased and take a side. This can lead to you hearing false information and spreading gossip. Even if it’s someone you really trust, in order to get real help you need to talk to someone on the outside. As soon as college starts, I will definitely be taking advantage of those 10 free counseling/therapy sessions.
  9. Accept it. The brutal truth is that things are happening without us. People are moving on with each other. It’s sad and I’ve shed too many tears wondering what could’ve been. People are going to go out and do things without us and there is nothing we can do to stop it. I’ve tried. No matter how much you wish it wouldn’t happen it still will.
  10. Once you’ve accepted it, its time to do something about it. Emily Dickinson said, “To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.” Create an environment so great that you forget that fomo even exists. Live your best life. Instead of sulking at home, get out there and make memories that you will be so thankful you didn’t miss. By thinking about what you are missing out on you are digging yourself into a deeper hole. By obsessing over what other people are doing you are wasting the time you could be using to go out and have more fun than anyone else. Then you won’t be missing out on anything!


– The Insecure


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