A friend recently told me that she hated her parents because of how strict they were. That got me thinking about this…
Am I not rebellious because my parents aren’t strict and trust me? Or are my parents not strict because I haven’t given them a huge reason to be.
I’ve had my fair share of risks and fun, but one thing I never did in my high school years was sneak out. I just never had the need to, plus my bedroom has always been on the second floor. That and when I lived in Nicaragua I didn’t have a car wasn’t exactly comfortable with walking down the street in the pitch dark. My amazing parents are usually pretty flexible with what time I need to be home, so I never had a curfew, and never stayed out past the time they wanted me to be home by. I just never had a reason. I never was spanked, I never have been grounded, and I think the only time they ever took something from me was my iPod when I was like 9. Do I just have amazing parents, who trust me enough to make me not want to do anything to lose their trust? Or did they just luck out with not super crazy kids that didn’t give them a reason to be super strict?
So I see there are two sides of this. All of my rebellious friends have strict parents. They are the ones who have 10 pm curfews that they always break and end up smoking or drinking subconsciously because they know it would piss their parents off if they found out. For me, yeah I admit I have a one time fling with rebellion here and there but I never felt the need or desire to act out. I’m not saying that all people who have strict parents will become alcoholics LOL, but from my experience, the friends that are more of risk takers are the ones whose parents are definitely the strictest. The thrill of taking a risk is because of the fact that it is a risk! It’s fun to know that you are doing something that you shouldn’t, but I never really felt the need to do anything “bad” because I wouldn’t be getting that same thrill. Not that my parents would be okay with me breaking the law, but they have a trust in me that I don’t want to lose.
The second side is this. I think my parents would have to be more strict with me if I gave them a reason to not believe that I would make the right decision in bad circumstances. If I am making it sound like they don’t care about what I do, then I am not successful making my case. My parents care about my sister and me more than anything, and I have no doubt they would literally give up their life for me. I just appreciate the faith they put in me to be able to let me go out and make decisions on my own. They have rules and boundaries they set for me, but when they stay up waiting for me to get home, it isn’t because they want to yell at me if I am home 1 minute late, it is because they want to make sure I am home safe and sound. For example, driving at night can be dangerous especially for a new driver, and they aren’t going to ground me (by the way I have never been grounded) for arriving at 11:02 instead of 11:00. If my mom happened to be upset it would be because she goes usually goes to bed at 8 and wants to go to sleep. Once I turned 17, they stopped staying up at all, and every year I got more and more freedom because I earned it. I completely understand that a parent would be extremely pissed if their child came how at 1 am every night and smelled like alcohol, but that’s just not me. People talk about how they hate their parents because they are so mean, but I look at their life and completely understand why their parents act the way they do.
So I don’t know. Am I not rebellious because my parents aren’t strict and trust me? Or are my parents not strict because I haven’t given them a huge reason to need to be. What do you think?